If you didn't think I was insane before, you are going to think I am after reading this. I don't make the rules, it's just what's going to happen. Unless you're a fellow therian, of course, then you'll be all "HELL YEAH." But for most of you not weird people, you're going to think we are all insane. Or you'll be all accepting and an actual good person, but I'm not going to count on that.
So here's my experiences being a therian. They're weird, interesting, hopefully funny, and so very confusing. That's generally what being a therian is. This is why I sometimes aggressively tap my fingernails on a table, or chitter randomly, or do the classic ADHD "t-rex arms," or get visibly uncomfortable watching dinosaur movies. These are all because of the fact that I am way too many animals for my own good.
But for some context I first want to talk about some packaged deals that come with being a therian. First of all, being a therian isn't something we choose. This is very important because people have asked me "why?" and I have no idea how to answer because it's not a choice. There are two reasons you can be a therian, it's either spiritual, like it was a past life, or it's psychological. I know it's psychological for me because I am not religious or spiritual and I hate religion. I have predator instincts. Well, kind of. Whenever I'm looking for something that I automatically go into a weird hunter-mode. I move like I am my theriotype. Let's talk about phantom limbs, kids. Phantom limbs are fun appendages that aren't really there that connect to our theriotypes. Not all therians have them, but I sure as hell do and they are weird and annoying and kind of fun. Without spoiling my theriotypes yet, I have a tail, I can feel it. I have feathers, I can feel them in the wind, I wear hair bows to somewhat replicate the actual feeling. It's like I'm an American without a gun, so I just have to use finger guns. I know they're not there, but I can still feel them. It's a weirdly different experience from being trans because I don't feel things that aren't there. Well at least not in the same way. And I am what's called a contherian, which means I can feel my phantom limbs at all times. I'm always half human half (specific theriotype). Some of us have what are called "shifts" which means we go into a state where we truly feel like our animal. We sometimes even see things like a forest, or desert depending on where your animal is from. I do both. I am contherian for one of my theriotypes, but for my other two I shift.
Utahraptor Ostrommaysi
Yeah, I'm that weird. I'm a fucking dinosaur (Paleotherian). This may or may not be my favorite theriotype I have because I am, what I like to call, a fucking nerd. I've loved dinosaurs since I watched a dino documentary I should not have been watching. Dinosaur Planet was the joy of my childhood. I would watch it on the road trip to Maine we used to do every year, or on a whim just because I wanted my dose of dinosaur.
This is my contheriotype, the one I always feel. The most apparent phantom limb I have is my killing claws. Killing claws are large claws the raptors had that were used for, you guessed it, thrusting into the body of their prey and murdering it. I have some control over my claws, like I can move them up and down, tap them on the floor. But it's not real, it's something that is deeply unsatisfying. An itch I can't scratch and inevitably make worse. So I use my fingernails to tap on tables or walls to replicate the sound. It's somewhat satisfying, but not the same. Along with the claws I have feathers. I started wearing hair bows because they were a piece of clothing that were traditionally feminine and they helped with gender dysphoria. But a fun bonus is that they feel like feathers, flowing in the wind. As for the "t-rex arms," it's just how they held their arms. I don't hold them like that because of ADHD, like most people, I do because I'm a therian. Bat
I have no idea what species of bat I am, but that doesn't really matter. This was my first discovery, the animal that I realized I was first. I get weirdly jealous whenever I see a bat hanging upside-down. It's like it's something I'm supposed to be able to do, but I can't. My wings and feet don't work that way because they, for some inexplicable reason, decided not to exist. Or I decided to be human, can't tell which. If I decided to be human, I made a gigantic mistake.
Fennec Fox
I know a lot of fox therians, but I am the only fennec fox I know of. I have no idea why foxes are so popular, big ears are life. I can feel my ears at the same time I feel all the Utahraptor limbs. It's a weird feeling, being multiple animals at the same time. When I curl up to go to sleep and I can feel my adorable, gigantic ears on my pillows. When this happens I can imagine myself on my bed as a fennec fox not as a human. And it's easier to visualize as a fennec fox because that's what is natural for me.
How Fun?
Being a therian is an... experience. It can be fun, it can be upsetting. It is fun to feel the phantom limbs. When I'm home alone I can hunt my cats (for snuggles, not for murder). I can tap my killing claws on the floor as intimidation. Except I can't intimidate my cats with tapping my killing claws because they don't exist. So they just look at me standing there looking like a weirdo probably asking "What the fuck are you doing? Can I help you?" and I'm all "Do you not see how intimidating I am right now?" and then I remember that they can't see or hear my claws. And then it gets upsetting.
I've tried to make this post make enough sense so that you don't think I'm insane. But you probably just read that entire thing and said what my cats say to me a lot "What the fuck?" Sorry, fellow therians they still think we're insane. But I don't give a shit if they do, and neither should you.
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